1. I hate Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves.
2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.
3. My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant.
4. Don’t let an extra chromosome get you down.
5. I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
6. People used to laugh at me when I would say „I want to be a comedian“, well nobody’s laughing now.
7. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
8. Throwing acid is wrong, in some people’s eyes.
9. My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.
10. I haven’t slept for three days, because that would be too long.
11. The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself „This changes everything.“
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